Midwestgirl22

Turbulence

2006-11-30T10:16:00.000-08:00

Naivete is seeing a passenger wielding a pocketknife on an airplane and simply thinking, "that would be a sweet blog".

Adventures at 3,500 ft. include:
- A woman with a full face of makeup, heels, and skinny jeans passed out cold on my shoulder...snuggling into me, none the less. It took the flight attendant everything but a slap across the face to bring her back to life after landing.
- A young man with a loud I-pod playing something that sounded like the old arcade Mortal Kombat theme interrupting my sleep with frequent bathroom breaks (Hey! I've seen LOST! Keep your Blow off my airplane.)
- Watching/hearing others sneeze and cough up viral yuckiness into our shared air supply.

Last, but certainly not least...I'm sitting next to a college basketball player, probably around my age, who gasps, pokes her friend in the seats ahead, pulls out a full size Swiss Army knife, and yelps "Woah! Check out what I got on here!". F*&^ that, and I can't bring on my Diet Coke?!

Nice to be back on land...

Is that a challenge?

2006-11-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

No better way to break a 6 month long blogging hiatus than with this. I only hope Aslan demonstrates the same levels of discipline and determination as his hefty peers.

PC Load Letter?! WTF does that mean?

2006-04-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

I really like Sundays. Especially ones where I can use all of my coping skills to prepare me for the week ahead. Today's coping skills include...

- B&Js Oatmeal Cookie Chunk for breakfast
- The O.C. DVDs, Season One: Teenage Drama-licious!
- Sleeping in 'til 11am
- Aslan, the Schmoopsie Cat
- A new US Weekly (TomKitten, horrah!)
- Culinary therapy...enchilladas, yumm!

...too bad it's almost 8:00pm, looks like I already have a case of the Mondays.

Puzzle Pieces

2006-04-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

Shout out:

I love you. Despite the monsoon, shepherd's pie "pellets", condensating tent, scheduled shuttle mishaps, lack of a bear bucket, Lisa the Homewrecking Whore, anxiety inducing cliffs, cows that look like bears (and their tracks in the sand), Yanni and the Apocalypse, off-key renditions of John Secada and Expose, Applebee's celebration, excess wine consumption, and Silverado Trail "detour". In fact, you may omit the "despite"; I love you as a result of this and the adventures we've been having over the past six months. Real Love, baby.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...

2006-02-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

The other day, while administering antibiotics to our kitten, Pat and I noticed that he seemed to be sticking his tongue out at us, being the oppositional child who we know and love. However, upon further inspection we noticed that our little furball instead had a bulging fat lip.

A FAT LIP? Did you get into a turf war with the balled up sock or bell-clad stuffed mouse? Observing his behaviors throughout the evening (mommy's a therapist...can we tell?) led us to believe he has been running into the wooden doors on the cupboards and, every so often, a wall while chasing toys on the hardwood floors and tile. Little hardass that he is, he hasn't figured out or doesn't care that this self-injurious behavior is causing him disfigurement. BTW: this is the same kitty-kins who attempts to "bury" his water and lays in the empty bathtub post-shower.

Current diagnosis is as follows:
Axis I:
314.01 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type (Primary)
313.81 Oppositional Defiant Disorder
315.4 Developmental Coordination Disorder
Axis II:
71.09 No Diagnosis
Axis III:
71.09 No Diagnosis
Axis IV:
Problems relating to social environment
Educational Problems
Highest GAF:
40 - Some impairment in reality testing or communication, judgment, and/or mood.

CAT SHOW!

2006-02-16T19:52:00.000-08:00

The new ultimate form of procrastination: http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

I'm preparing Aslan for his web debut...any ideas?

Reality Bites.

2006-02-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking of having a 1990s cinema flashback weekend to validate my current state of mind. Nothing like a little Leto, Ryder, and Silverstone to force a girl to reassess her priorities. The frustrations of working for the "system" are causing me to bypass my healthy coping skills resulting in kicking office doors and punching the watercooler. Lucas in Empire Records said it right: Damn the Man, Save the Empire. Doesn't anyone still feel inspired by these grungy role-models? If so, give me a call and join me in my angst.

War and Peace of Mind

2006-01-22T22:53:00.000-08:00

Recently, my lovely neighbors issued a complaint regarding the "noise levels" of the converted Victorian we all share, resulting in a friendly reminder to all tenants from our landlord via email. Of the numerous "suggestions" for a peaceful shared living arrangement this one was most certainly directed towards Pat and I: keep in mind which walls you share with your neighbors and be mindful of furniture placement, i.e. beds. Mind you, this is from the same people who walk around the hardwood floors in hooker heels at 5 am and hold Jerry Springer worthy domestic disputes for all to hear. Give me a break! I can't WAIT to own a home and bang the headboard as I please...

The Stinking Rose

2006-01-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

Mmmm...Gah-lic. I'm simmering up some of Mom's special sauce (the kind I use as Love Potion #9 with my man) and my whole apartment smells delish. If you've had the chance to taste ANYTHING I cook (with the obvious exception of dessert...ew, garlic cheesecake), you'll know I'm a big fan of the stinking rose. Just last week, I discovered a little gold pot at the end of the Cost-Co rainbow: a 3lb. tub of pre-peeled garlic cloves. All the love, none of the woman-power; God Bless you, Super-Sized, Lazy America.

DoMESStic Partnership

2006-01-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

Day 10 of living with Boyfriend:
Today I went to reach for the Pyrex glass measuring cup and found that I now own SIX of these kitchen essentials. I do believe that between the two of us, Patrick and I could fully supply a five-star restaurant with all it's cooking utensil needs. Though at this time I can't tell you what I'm going to do with two hand mixers (besides double-fist a batch of brownies), I'm adoring waking up on a daily basis next to this fantastically sexy man.

Bandwagon

2005-12-29T22:15:00.000-08:00

I found this link on a friend's facebook profile. I gotta say...it's pretty right on (unfortunately, even the negative stuff at times.) I hate when people clog their Blogs with this hoopla, but...just this once...

***You Have a Choleric Temperament***

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whattempermentareyouquiz/

Steee-rike!

2005-12-23T13:20:00.000-08:00

Wow. Today I bowled a 147 (without bumpers!) and remembered I was actually kind of good at the game. Which, of course, is embarrassing as all get out and only on my blog will I brag about this righteous score.

BRRR!

2005-12-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

Is this the coldest winter on record or has my blood already thinned considerably in the 4 months I've lived in California? It's like 15 degrees out there...my parents are giving me a hard time for walking around the house in a fleece and beenie. Then again, I wear that in the 80 degree office sometimes, too. All in all...good trip thus far. But ya know, who can complain for getting PTO for sitting in front of the fire with a book all week? Love it.

Work Blows.

2005-12-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

11:00pm and I'm writing notes for work. These notes consist of bullshit to fill in endless hours of staring at a computer screen. Or playing games. Or talking to Katie online. Can I bill "collateral" for bitching about my job all day?! My life can be outlined in a series of notes.

Example:

(I) Staff researched different car insurance companies and compared prices and coverage. Staff additionally traveled 15 minutes round-trip to the Vallejo DMV for the purpose of registering her seriously expired Michigan license plates. (P) Staff will utilize this information collected to develop a service plan to ensure she is not arrested.

POP

2005-12-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Pop:
To make a short, sharp, explosive sound.
To burst open with a short, sharp, explosive sound.
To move quickly or unexpectedly; appear abruptly: At last the cottage popped into view.
To open wide suddenly: The child's eyes popped with astonishment.
To shoot a firearm, such as a pistol.
To release (a clutch) suddenly.

Never the less...

I refuse to call my daily intake of caffine a "soda". Note the quotes, as "soda" is the alleged name for this beverage out in Califonia. You silly kids, it's called POP, it will always be POP. One bakes with soda and one drinks: POP. If I can tolerate those mocking giggles everytime I say "CostCo" you can deal with just handing me the 32 oz. cup when I order a large diet.