Turbulence

Naivete is seeing a passenger wielding a pocketknife on an airplane and simply thinking, "that would be a sweet blog".

Adventures at 3,500 ft. include:
- A woman with a full face of makeup, heels, and skinny jeans passed out cold on my shoulder...snuggling into me, none the less. It took the flight attendant everything but a slap across the face to bring her back to life after landing.
- A young man with a loud I-pod playing something that sounded like the old arcade Mortal Kombat theme interrupting my sleep with frequent bathroom breaks (Hey! I've seen LOST! Keep your Blow off my airplane.)
- Watching/hearing others sneeze and cough up viral yuckiness into our shared air supply.

Last, but certainly not least...I'm sitting next to a college basketball player, probably around my age, who gasps, pokes her friend in the seats ahead, pulls out a full size Swiss Army knife, and yelps "Woah! Check out what I got on here!". F*&^ that, and I can't bring on my Diet Coke?!

Nice to be back on land...

Is that a challenge?

No better way to break a 6 month long blogging hiatus than with this. I only hope Aslan demonstrates the same levels of discipline and determination as his hefty peers.

PC Load Letter?! WTF does that mean?

I really like Sundays. Especially ones where I can use all of my coping skills to prepare me for the week ahead. Today's coping skills include...

- B&Js Oatmeal Cookie Chunk for breakfast
- The O.C. DVDs, Season One: Teenage Drama-licious!
- Sleeping in 'til 11am
- Aslan, the Schmoopsie Cat
- A new US Weekly (TomKitten, horrah!)
- Culinary therapy...enchilladas, yumm!

...too bad it's almost 8:00pm, looks like I already have a case of the Mondays.

Puzzle Pieces

Shout out:

I love you. Despite the monsoon, shepherd's pie "pellets", condensating tent, scheduled shuttle mishaps, lack of a bear bucket, Lisa the Homewrecking Whore, anxiety inducing cliffs, cows that look like bears (and their tracks in the sand), Yanni and the Apocalypse, off-key renditions of John Secada and Expose, Applebee's celebration, excess wine consumption, and Silverado Trail "detour". In fact, you may omit the "despite"; I love you as a result of this and the adventures we've been having over the past six months. Real Love, baby.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...

The other day, while administering antibiotics to our kitten, Pat and I noticed that he seemed to be sticking his tongue out at us, being the oppositional child who we know and love. However, upon further inspection we noticed that our little furball instead had a bulging fat lip.

A FAT LIP? Did you get into a turf war with the balled up sock or bell-clad stuffed mouse? Observing his behaviors throughout the evening (mommy's a therapist...can we tell?) led us to believe he has been running into the wooden doors on the cupboards and, every so often, a wall while chasing toys on the hardwood floors and tile. Little hardass that he is, he hasn't figured out or doesn't care that this self-injurious behavior is causing him disfigurement. BTW: this is the same kitty-kins who attempts to "bury" his water and lays in the empty bathtub post-shower.

Current diagnosis is as follows:
Axis I:
314.01 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type (Primary)
313.81 Oppositional Defiant Disorder
315.4 Developmental Coordination Disorder
Axis II:
71.09 No Diagnosis
Axis III:
71.09 No Diagnosis
Axis IV:
Problems relating to social environment
Educational Problems
Highest GAF:
40 - Some impairment in reality testing or communication, judgment, and/or mood.

CAT SHOW!

The new ultimate form of procrastination: http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

I'm preparing Aslan for his web debut...any ideas?

Reality Bites.

I'm thinking of having a 1990s cinema flashback weekend to validate my current state of mind. Nothing like a little Leto, Ryder, and Silverstone to force a girl to reassess her priorities. The frustrations of working for the "system" are causing me to bypass my healthy coping skills resulting in kicking office doors and punching the watercooler. Lucas in Empire Records said it right: Damn the Man, Save the Empire. Doesn't anyone still feel inspired by these grungy role-models? If so, give me a call and join me in my angst.